if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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