I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
