I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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