My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize