THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
