I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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