I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize