if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
