I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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