why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
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After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
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finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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