Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
