Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
