I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
