2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
