Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize