My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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