You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
if only i could text you this smell
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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