i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
