This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
