Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
