I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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