It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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