Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
