Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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