Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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