I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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