is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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