I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
