You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My penis needs a shock collar
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
