Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
