mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My dick has a subreddit
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
