i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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