Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize