But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
