She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
