Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
