An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
