By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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