Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
