I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
