her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
