yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
