he shaved USA in his pubs
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
