Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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