Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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