just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize