She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
