He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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