I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I understand Curling. That high.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
