so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
