I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
