i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
