Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
