We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
