don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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