If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Houston, we have a blender
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
