This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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