dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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