i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize