remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
